The SOLV Lane

If you live in any city with traffic, well you probably just wish you didn't.  It never ceases to amaze me how on my way to an audition at 11:30 AM on a Tuesday,  I end up in gridlock hell.  Why aren't these people at work?  Well, we're probably all going to the same audition.  On many a roadway, one incentive for disgruntled commuters, is carpool lanes.  Personally I don't know a single person who carpools to work, but many, at least in LA, currently get to use the HOV (high occupancy vehicle) lane because they drive a hybrid.  Soon, plans for stricter CA regulations will only allow qualifying hybrid vehicles (those that achieve city-highway fuel economy of 65 mpg or better or are powered by electricity, natural gas or some other alternative fuel) this very special treatment, knocking down the once awed after Prius to the silver medal podium.  And while I applaud these very green efforts, I say, screw positive reinforcement!  How about some punishment?  I propose the SOLV Lane.  The Single Occupancy Large Vehicle Lane would require all of the Range Roving, Escalading, Suburbaning, solo commuters to drive in one, and only one lane, the SOLV Lane.  No longer will us compact car drivers be stuck in traffic staring at the behind of a giant SUV we can't see in front of or fearing that the morons changing lanes to right and left, will fail to see us, because... our cars are just too small to see!  Oh how I long to fly past the ultra cool, over-sized sunglass wearing, road hoggers, bumper-to-bumper with their own kind in the dreaded SOLV lane as I cruise past on to my way to wow the ad agency for my Midol audition.  Yay!