Be a Doll

Most people are critical of themselves in some way.  Actors are commonly their own biggest critics, in particular.  And maybe that's because perception means so much when you're trying to get hired as a character in a story.  But isn't it funny to sometimes find out how other people perceive you?


I teach adults, so I guess I listen to what they say about me more closely and take it more seriously than I would kids.  On Tuesday, I saw two ladies in the front row whispering and smiling.  I could tell they were talking about me, so I interrupted (kidding, of course).  "Hey, what's going on over there?"  They giggled, "We were saying you look like a doll."  


Today a different student in the front row interrupted my class to say, "You look like Barbie.  Do people tell you that?"  All I could think was, "In your country, is Barbie a flat-chested, unmarried woman in her 30s, who teaches in Watts part-time and is considering bankruptcy?"


Of course, didn't say that.  I just laughed and smiled... even said, "Uh..thank you" despite how stupid it felt.


And it's not that I can't take a compliment.  I just can't take one seriously that I don't think applies to me at all.


Later this afternoon I remembered something.  That student with the Barbie comment had a headache today... because she'd forgotten her glasses.  Ah-hah!  Not Barbie, just a blonde blur.  OK, that I can accept that.

Watts the Deal?

 I teach ESL (English as a Second Language) at a community college, but I have a couple of classes, off-campus in community-based centers.  This always has its own set of issues or obstacles.  You're a mobile teacher going into areas where there's need and that's usually not the nicest of neighborhoods.  I teach at two offsite facilities, both in Watts (an area sadly famous for all the wrong reasons).  And the two facilities, though just blocks apart, couldn't be more different.


One is called Kedren Head Start.  Kedren has several other locations and facilities around Los Angeles, providing an array of services to the community from mental health services to nutrition and early childhood education.  The staff at Kedren Head Start couldn't be friendlier, more helpful, or more grateful to have us there.  They fall down over themselves trying to accommodate and anticipate any and all needs to improve and enhance the education experience for the students and teachers.


Part of my class is distance learning, which means the students take home DVDs and books to study in their free time and/or with friends or family members.  We watch part of the video in class every week, and the staff at Kedren always has a laptop with speakers, a projector, and projector screen set up and ready to go for me.  One morning the projector screen was already in use, so I walked in the classroom to find the project coordinator and two other staff members working quickly, adhering large pieces of white paper to the board so I could use that in its place.  These are people and an institution that really care about their community members and honor the importance of education.


My other offsite location in Watts is at the Coalition of Mental Health Professionals.  They also provide community services in the areas of conflict resolution, domestic violence, and other counseling services.    And while I can't speak on behalf of them, their actions towards me as a teacher, certainly have not been conducive with a stress on providing a positive and effective learning environment for the students I teach.  


They requested to have ESL classes taught there at the beginning of the year, but I would have to guess that their intentions were not solely focused on serving the immigrant population of the community.  Their overall attitude towards me as a teacher is far less than grateful.  They act as if they're doing me some kind of favor, rather than the other way around.  Here is an email I sent to my supervisor after class today:

When I arrived at CMHP this morning, the room had been split in half with dividers.  When I asked the staff member if we could move them, she got angry and told me to stop complaining.

The space is pretty cramped now and the other side of the room was not being used during my class time.  I tried to get creative providing workspace, but we were maxed out on space at 19 students.  Some students were using file cabinets against the wall as desks because there isn't enough room to allow another table to our side.  Some of the students at the back of the room couldn't see the board.  I tried moving it closer, but the room is now too narrow to put it anywhere else and the board itself is not big.

Unfortunately, that program literally now has nowhere to grow.

Thanks,

Beth

This is sad, unnecessary, unacceptable, and difficult to understand.  The worst part is, my employer is using their limited resources in a place where we seem to be unwanted, when there are a variety of other offsite locations that would and will welcome and embrace our services.

The tragedy here is the students.  There is a need in that community that isn't being honored.  

And it pisses me off.

Who's the Loser?

  You might have read today about a teacher in North Carolina coming under fire for writing "loser" on a student's paper.  http://www.ksfy.com/news/national/87461092.html  My "day job" is teaching English as a Second Language to adults.  I enjoy it.  The students are almost always just, lovely, not losers.  The administration and faculty?  A real mixed bag with plenty of losers.  I had a principal at an LAUSD Adult School call me "that blonde woman" for over a year before she decided to learn my name.  Some of the teachers are really great.  Qualified to over-qualified in many cases, with a real knack for the stuff.  Oh, but there's plenty of nut jobs and just lazy teachers, too.   I was sitting in a break room one day when a teacher announced that she'd grown up most of her life in a coma, and yet somehow had also been a supermodel.  Another day a teacher confided in me that the district was spying on her.  Had even searched her house when she wasn't home.  And then there's the ones that read the newspaper during class, pay their bills and plan their weddings during distance learning office hours, or can't bring themselves to do anything other than play bingo with their students.  This just angers me as a taxpayer.  Why should I have to pay for you to do a fraction of the same job I do?  Teacher unions make it very difficult to fire teachers.  Often they're encouraged into administration where they fail again, but now with more power.  A tenured teacher in the Downey Unified School District couldn't stay awake during class, just kept falling asleep.  After many complaints, she was given a teacher's aide.  I've stepped away from that dog mess and now I work for a community college with an administrator who is actually intelligent, passionate about, and great at her job.  SO refreshing!  And since she does the hiring, the teachers are pretty great too.  I LOVE not hating my "day job!"